Motivation – 2 Where are we up to ? Where do we want to be?

We will use a flower (download to print out here)* as a fun way to look at the current balance of needs in our life. You can complete this as an individual or as a couple or family (look at your relationship needs) or team/ organisation. Or you can do it for/with someone else to help them see what they have in their lives and what’s missing- what are the gaps to be filled up.

1. Filling in the Flower

Put your name in the centre of the flower.

2. Power and Worth

Put one word in each petal that describes you when you are at your best. When you feel/felt proud, happy, lucky, good about ourselves.

3. Love and Belonging

In the four leaves put the names of people who you feel are or have been really there for you.

4. Fun

On the roots, list the different things you do for fun. If you can’t think of ten things, include things from your past or even your future – what you want to do but haven’t yet done. Beside the ten fun things put an A beside those you like to do alone. Put a $ beside those that cost less than $20 excluding the equipment. Put an x beside those you have done in the last 10 days.

5. Plan for Change

For the weeds list four things you have been putting off or procrastinating on.

6. Freedom

On the butterfly you put your hope or dream. Reading the flower Power The flower petals focus on our sense of empowerment. If you struggled with this it may be useful to focus on this need. Love and belonging The flower petals focus on our sense of love and belonging. If it includes someone no longer alive or imaginary friends or pets it may be that this is your area of need to focus on. Fun The roots address the fun need. Is there balance between the things we like to do alone and with others? Do you have 7 or more fun things to do each week (that are legal and non-addictive!)? Do you need to build up your fun repertoire? Freedom The weeds and butterfly focus on our freedom needs –freedom from and freedom to. When we put things off we are choosing where our energy goes! Surprise!

Imagine how free you will feel once that chore is done! Plan how your weeds can be removed and leave you free to reach out for your butterfly.

Read first part of this article:  Motivation 1  How to better identify what you want and get it!  Help others identify what they want and support them to go after it!

* Indepedent 1997

 Mary Gray ( View blogger profile here)

Executive Director

Home and Family Counselling

Motivation – 1 How to better identify what you want and get it! Help others identify what they want and support them to go after it!

One theory about what motivates us, Choice theory, developed by Dr William Glasser, sees motivation arising from our drive to meet certain biological needs – physical and psychological.  It identifies five basic needs. They are the drivers (motivators) of our behaviour as we seek to satisfy these needs.

The five needs are:

Survival (air,  food,  water,  shelter, health,  sex, exercise)

Love and belonging   ( friendship, cooperation, involvement , companionship, caring,  intimacy, relationship, connection )     

Power and worth ( importance, recognition,  competence ,  pride,  achievement,  competition,  respect,  being heard, significance,  skills, impact,  pride)

Freedom (choices,  independence, options , autonomy,liberty, physical movement,  psychological space)

Fun (enjoyment,  pleasure,  learning,  relaxation, play/ hobbies, laughter)

We put images of what we want on an imaginary scale with what we have got.

Our brain compares our images of what we want with what we have in the world. We then set out, through our behaviour, to control our world to get what we want.

Now is when things get interesting.

As we start to recognise why we are so driven to beat our competitors; or get so hurt when our friends or family members aren’t as forthcoming as we would like, we can start to make sense of our world in a different way.

Take the time now to look at each of the above five categories and list down or underline at least one key word from each category for yourself.

What behaviour – action or reaction- does this frequently provoke in you?

In our next blog we’ll look at what comes next.

Next blog

Having a sense that this is how and why we now respond in certain ways, can free us up to choose if we want to continue to respond as we now do.

 Mary Gray ( View blogger profile here)

Executive Director

Home and Family Counselling